David Bakken (DB) Statement: Context of Relationship and Interactions with
Pinelopi Pavlopoulo (PP) and other Female Foreign Student-Athletes at WSU
March 14, 2016 (A “Reader’s Digest” summary can be had by reading the green sections; see TOC).
Abstract
I am a Professor of computer
science, and have been the official mentor (we have them in our dept.) to
Pinelopi Pavlopoulou, a sophomore from Greece. Over the years my wife Beth and
I have had many, many international students over for dinner, and, being a
proud WSU alum, I’m a proud Coug so I tend to interact with undergraduate
students a lot more than most professors; it’s who I am.
Over 2015 Beth and I had
Pinelopi and some other female student-athletes over for dinner multiple times
(all within NCAA limits), something that they and we enjoyed very much. I also
arranged for her tutoring when she failed a midterm exam. However, she lost
confidence in herself (she is a high achiever who has probably never failed an
exam). So I was trying to encourage her,
plus there were other things that required coordination due to her family
visiting (her brother may do graduate studies in my department, etc; these 6
different topics are enumerated in Section 6.6).
These resulted in almost daily email or text in the last few weeks of the
semester. This was an extremely stressful time in her life. In retrospect, I
also believe that she also was embarrassed or ashamed at letting me down by
changing from CompSci, given that I have helped her a lot.
Unfortunately, I found out
from Prof. Ken Casavant 04 January that she had actually broken down and cried
in an office in the athletic department, due to (in part) overloading of inputs
from me, and someone used the word “stalking”. I was horrified to hear that,
and it still greatly disturbs me. Ken
also had heard through the grapevine that I had been blackballed from a basketball
practice, something I find highly unlikely (and document below), but is likely convenient
for some in the AD (not Ken) to assume. This also bothers me hugely that people
(not Ken) are apparently talking behind my back in the AD.
These email and text messages,
when taken out of context, are misleading. So I have felt compelled to provide
this broader context in my defense to clear up any misconceptions, spending an
enormous amount of time in January and early February doing so. Plus a huge
amount of missing sleep earlier over
concerns that I added to Pinelopi’s stress, and later due to anger about the
whole slander thing…
However, because, as of
mid-Feb. turns out that the witch hunt started by someone in the AD (likely
PamB, and arguably with malice or at least career goals) is not going anywhere.
But the status quo is utterly unacceptable to me: (a)
the whole “Dave is a stalker” conversation
apparently circulating to some degree in the athletic department, (b) Pinelopi
and 2 others who have been over for dinner multiple times are seemingly told not to communicate with me, and
(c) the rumor Ken had heard that I have been blackballed from attending women’s BB practices (completely untrue
AFAIK). These together constitute severe slander[1]
on my good name, and this status quo is profoundly unacceptable to
me, not just in the abstract concept of my good name but in the context of
my career goal for my last 15 years: to
succeed Ken Casavant as Faculty Athletic Representative. I have such strong
respect for student-athletes who want to excel at both athletics and academics,
and want to do everything I can to help them maintain that hard balance. And,
in doing so, I think that my wife Beth and I can be a big blessing to
student-athletes who are far from home, pursuing hard majors, or (hopefully) both.
Epilogue: in late February I
was talking with Josh Whiting, an EECS undergraduate academic advisor who met
with Pinelopi and I on October 30 (as described in Section 5.1). He
mentioned that PP had come by in December, and had broken down crying due to schedule overwhelming.
No mention of me. But, even before that, Ken had concluded that my inputs were
only the straw that broke the camel’s back (an insanely aggressive academic
schedule being the core reason).
This document is not
journal-quality writing and organization; it evolved over a month, and its
taken too much of my time already. However, it serves its purpose.
David E. Bakken, Ph.D. DATE
1
Contents
3.1.1 Bakkens
and International Students
3.2 Female
Undergrad Recruitment and Retention in EECS and VCEA
4 Chronology
of DB-PP Interactions Before her 223 Midterm
4.1 First
Meeting (April 2015)
4.2 2015
Summer & 1H Fall Semester Interactions
4.3 Dinners
at the Bakken House
4.3.5 Meal
#4: Some Time in September
4.3.6 Another
Meal Invitation Diplomatically/Maturely declined by PP
4.3.7 Crisis
with PP’s Friend Nastia
5 Crisis
Milestone: Midterm Results on Oct 30 and Interactions Shortly Thereafter
5.1 Advising
Meeting in the morning of Oct 30
5.4 Followup Text from
PP Later that Night
6 Interactions
After Midterm Crisis
6.1 Text
messages with Bianca, Ivana, and Pinelopi FRI 13-NOV-15 at 2305
6.2 EECS
Night at WBB 17-NOV-2015
6.3 Text
about a brief meeting on Dec 7.
6.4 Text
about a brief meeting on Dec 9.
6.5 Text
about a Review Session 13-DEC-2015
6.6 During and After Final Exams [KEY DETAILS
EXPLAINING MULTIPLE DBàPP EMAIL]
6.7 Final
Exams through Family’s Visit (2H December)
7.1.1 Meeting
with Football Recruits during Academic Hour on Official Visits
7.1.2 Huge
Football Fan (double entendre alert!)
7.1.3 Football
Player Interactions
10 Finale:
My Academic Advice for PP
10.2 My
Academic Advice for PP
11 Unfinished Business with PamB: DCP
Stonewalling, Cutting off Communications, and Slander
11.1 PamBàDB (cc Cynthia Castro AKA CC) 10/29
11.2 Dave
Tries to Make Contact: November
11.6 PamBàDB 12/8/15 Pam
cc’d Dean Candis Claiborn
11.8 June
Daugherty to DB 12/17
12.2 The
Story Behind a DB-PP picture on Oct 2, 2015
13 Bakken
Guest Book Entries since 1999.
14 A
Few More PP-DB Example Interactions
14.1 Silly
Girl Quotation [NOV-06]
In this
document I will explain my relationship with Women’s Basketball Player (and my
departmental academic mentee) Pinelopi Pavlopoulou (PP). It has come to my attention that, in my
proactive eagerness to help her succeed after failing a midterm, I overloaded her and in doing so I caused
her great stress and anguish. (For that, I am profoundly saddened.) Therefore,
I think it will be helpful for me to offer this (hopefully) comprehensive
explanation to put the bits and pieces that some may have heard in context,
because some of what I have heard (e.g., I was blackballed from attending a
women’s BB practice) is untrue AFAIK. Indeed, in earlier advocating for some student-athletes,
I have “ruffled a few feathers” in the AD, to say the least. For that I am not
sorry. So here is the context…
This
document explains things mostly in chronological order. A key milestone here is October 30, when PP learned that she had
failed the midterm exam in CptS 223, which weeds out some students; CptS
undergrads get certified right after they pass this. I am confident that of
this day, when I talked with her multiple times, she was in no way feeling
harassed or overwhelmed (I provide undisputable evidence below in Section 5). I am pretty sure also that on November
10 she was still happy with our relationship. However, by about 5 weeks later
she was no longer responding to any email or text, even though there were very
concrete and necessary things we needed to discuss (detailed below in Section 5). (I assumed that she was too afraid
that she had let me down; and later when AD officials were stonewalling my
inquiries about the degree completion program (DCP), and that Coach June had
been told not to talk with me due to “academic integrity” issues, I assumed
that PP had been told not to talk with me, which infuriated me.)
This
milestone of Oct 30 is key, because it explains a gap between when PP may have
melted down and when I clued into her not wanting communication. Anyway….
On
04-JAN-2016 I met with WSU Faculty Athletic Rep. Ken Casavant. I had come to
tell him how a few people in the AD were stonewalling my attempt to get
concrete info on PP’s chances for the degree completion program (DCP), and how
much she would be able to participate with her former team, something she
needed for a crucial career decision). Prof.
Casavant dropped a bombshell to me: that PP had broken down and cried in
someone’s office over feeling overwhelmed by my email and text, and someone
(her or an athletic department academic person) even used the word “stalking”.
I was mortified to hear that I had
caused this remarkable human being such grief. And I am tremendously sorrowful
that, because of this, we did not talk in a big career-defining period in her
life due to my (now) unquestionably-stupid
over-helpfulness. In the past she has indicated that she very much
appreciated my mentorship (as documented below). Yet, because of my being too
proactive, I was not able to be there for her when she likely most needed my
mentorship. I grieve over this. (And I
really wish that someone in the athletic department had had the courtesy
to reach out and gently warn me that she broke down crying, though this is
obviously not their fault that she did; mea
culpa. Still, I would not have sent her any email past that point; I did until
late December (for legitimate reasons explained below)). That would have
eliminated any stress that PP suffered after that crying breakdown due to any
subsequent email messages that I sent, unaware of her breakdown.
Over time I
have observed—or, um, it has been pointed out to me!—that the male of the
species does not always clue in right away; unfortunately, “I resemble that
remark”. I assumed that her reasons for not replying were (1) afraid of letting
me down (2) someone in the AD told her to not communicate with me, or (3) I was
being too helpful and that was creeping her out. I thought (3) was unlikely (more below), but
my wife Beth tossed out that possibility in the last few days of 2015. I am quite confident that PP understands that
there was utterly no sexual intent on my
part; other than “killing/overwhelming with kindness/help” nothing I did
could be remotely interpreted that way, despite for example my (retrograde, in
PC terms) use of the term “dear” in email. Of that I am confident, and I look
forward to discussing this with whomever in the AD. And, in doing so, stomping
out any rumors.
Finally, let
me be blunt for the sake of efficiency: I am a 55-year-old male who is morbidly
obese. If I were a disgusting cad and wanted sex outside of my marriage, I
would simply pay for it (I have to assume that it can’t be that hard with the
internet and whatnot). Um, I absolutely would not hit on a college athlete with
whom I would have virtually no probability of success, and in doing so would
destroy a relationship that I value and also quite possibly get me fired from
WSU. And if I were so stupid and vile to try to hit on a student-athlete, I
would not do it to someone in my department! Comprende? Q.E.D.
It is well and long known (inside EECS[2] and in my circle of influence) that I have a HUGE respect for any student-athlete who wants to take on a hard major, and that I want to do anything I can (um, within NCAA limits) to help them. And in my department I am assigned as a mentor to any student-athlete (I have 3 now) who is starting in our major. This is because, based on my experiences mentoring PP, it is clear that the AD academic counseling folks (whom I have great respect and admiration for in general[3]) do not understand computer science scheduling realities (i.e., they only know how to simply stretch out a 4-year canonical plan to utilize summers). That demonstrably does not serve PP well… e.g. there are 3-4 courses that should NEVER be scheduled during her heavy travel schedule (i.e., January-March). That almost got her flunked out of CS in Spring 2015. L It is for this and other observations that I have collected that I hope to explain to AD academic counselling folks how they need to approach hard (and uncommon in AD) majors….
We have also hosted foreign exchange students; to the right is a photo of Katharina Beil, from eastern Germany, who lived with us in 1998 in New Hampshire. This picture was from the 2011 football game where she finally got to see these WSU Cougars that I’d been talking about from back east more than a decade before. (She is now a very capable performance engineer for Air Berlin!)
So we have long been hospitable to foreign students. It is in our DNA, it seems. It’s what we do….
We have had over many, many students for dinner in our 30 years of marriage. So of course this practice only continued when I became a professor in 1999. Please see the Appendix for way more documentation of this (post-1999 dinners).
I have long been kind to many foreign students. And sometimes also American ones, too (Um, I sometimes try not to discriminate against them!). I am not normally “tooting my own horn”, but here are some examples to provide context for my interactions with PP, lest they be misinterpreted out of context.
In my undergraduate studies at WSU, I met two male Chinese PhD students: one in computer science and the other in math (I received BS degrees in both fields). Though they were not particularly close friends, I decided to take them driving around the state for 2-3 days. They really appreciated that: one of them, Jiannong Cao, is the chair of computer science at Hong Kong Polytechnic and would like me to visit this year and give a Distinguished Seminar.
In graduate school I had a number of foreign student acquaintances. One was Yousef Al-Akeel, a fundamentalist Muslim from Saudi Arabia (long-bearded Wahabi type). We had him over for dinner a number of times (and, in coming, not only did we know to serve halal food, but he was quite relieved to see that Beth dressed modestly (by American standards)). Well, Yousef had a very important paper due one day. So I stayed up all night with him helping on that paper, even though the next morning I had my PhD Preliminary Exam. Now, probably few reading this document have done a PhD, but let me say that if you do not pass your Prelim exam, you cannot go on for your last year or two and get your PhD. (FYI I ended up passing my prelim; I actually did not melt down like I thought that I might have.) Yousef told me that even his own brother would not have done that.
Beth and I also became friends with a PhD student in linguistics from Bahrain, (now professor) Nayla Yateem. We met Nayla, and had her over a number of times for dinner. Also, when her husband was in town, we took him with us on a family vacation to Carlsbad Caverns (which you MUST see if you have a chance). But then when we were leaving town after my graduation in 1994, we had an older Toyota car (which still had useful miles on it). Rather than bothering to sell it for $1-2K, we simply gave our car to her. Since then we learned circa 2010 that her husband had divorced her and also their son had autism. So I have sent her a few electronics educational kits, in the hopes that he could latch onto that (it is my understanding that young people with autism can latch onto a technology field and then be very, very good at it).
I have also actually interacted with American WSU students; I am a COUG (WSU ’85) and feel deep comradery with them! So, for example, I had a few MSCS students circa 2005 who were into hunting. So I took them around scouting for deer hunting locations, and set them up with a farmer that I knew for their hunting opportunity. They ended up harvesting a nice buck. I presently have a student programmer employee, Alex, who is very good and a nice kid (pleased to have him onboard). So every 2-3 months I’ll take him out for a few beers (yes, he is 21). (Alex and PP both took CptS 224 from me this fall; I requested that they not sit right in front because “I am very fond of both of you” and it would be a distraction for me.) And I’ve long given football tickets to students in both my lab and in my classes, out of my own family budget.
In CptS 224 last fall I had a (male) student email me asking for an extension for a homework assignment, explaining how his fiancée had just dumped him and he was devastated. Not only did I give him this extension, but I gave him my cell phone # (which I do, anyway, to all students in my syllabi) and told him to call me at any time.
Being a veteran, I profoundly appreciate people who have served our country in the military. Therefore, this fall when I learned that a few US Marine veteran students were working in my department, in JR’s (EECS lab equipment) shop, I took them (Daniel and Lindsay) for dinner and beer at Paradise Creek Brewery.
About 5 years ago, I was advising a (male) student, and one of the EECS systems administration staff, Ryan Makemson, was kind of staring at me from outside of my office. After the student left after about 20 minutes, I asked him what’s up. He said that he had previously been on the staff at the U. Idaho, and professors of my stature (they do have a few) just tried to get rid of advisees as quickly as they could; he was amazed that I let them stay and talk as long as they needed to. He said that I “give a damn!”.
And a former colleague (John Minicucci) called me out of the blue on December 22 (day grades were due). He used to be a research manager at an electric utility, and in that context I interacted with him a lot 6-10 years ago. But then he was seduced by the dark side: he became involved with regulatory (not technical) issues, so he cannot help my research any more. But he called at 430pm and said he was in Pullman with his son, who was considering going to WSU (in business). I spent 3 hours with them driving them around and showing them the place, telling them all about it, and doing dinner etc. I am a big advocate of WSU so I was happy to do this.
Finally, two of my top-5 WSU undergrads of all time are Jeromy Johnson and Raeann Marks, who were a couple until summer of 2015 (they were graduated in December 2015). I took them to dinner twice in the last few weeks of the Spring 2015 semester, first to thank Jeromy for covering for me on a class (he is that good) and the other time because I am simply fond of both of them. Rae ended up being a tutor for Pinelopi, as described below. And Rae remains a close friend of mine. And I do refer to her as “dear” sometimes.
In the summer of 2013 I had an appointment with Candis Claiborn, Dean of the Voiland College of Engineering and Architecture (VCEA). This was concerning WSU Team Gleason, which I was supervising to develop better (and free) technology for patients with ALS (pALS). At this meeting was Gail Gleason, Steve’s mom who has been a friend of Beth’s and mine for 10+ years.
At this meeting Dean Claiborn asked me how we could increase the percentage of female undergraduate computer science students, which then was at a dismal 13%. I told her that I was not sure. But then I took the initiative and arranged a brainstorming meeting with some CS undergrads (Kelsy Bueno – a track athlete) and Raeann Marks) as well as graduate students (Gina Sprint and Jess Dahmen). That meeting happened, and two followup results of it were the following:
1. Video of Kelsey Bueno: “Computer Science Student Kelsey Bueno”, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mK9RP0nj3Jo
2. “Women in Computer Science – Voiland College WSU”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDWfGPVnXdU&feature=youtu.be, This video is for recruiting women into computer science (especially the crucial middle school years). Raeanne Marks is the featured student (starts out and also much of the video). Kelsey Bueno is also in this video.
3. Kelsey Bueno was featured on the cover of the Spring 2014 EECS magazine (i.e., to alums and companies). Here is the web version.
This background has made me realize the additional challenges that female CS student5s face; and to become highly inclined towards helping any female CS undergrad, let alone any student-athlete one. That, plus my respect for a student-athlete taking a hard major, plus Pinelopi being a foreign student far from home, made me extra motivated to help her navigate that difficult balance between student and athlete.
I am a bit old-fashioned. For example, if there is a young lady who is a cashier or waitress serving me, of the age of my daughter (26) or less, and they seem like a nice person, I will often call them “hon” or “honey”. So far, that has not offended anyone. I have asked maybe a half dozen if someone might take that sexually, and they said no way, though if someone was a “strong feminist” they may be offended. Caveat emptor!
Similarly, if there is a female friend of the family, as PP became, I will sometimes refer to her as “dear”. This would have been found a few times in email that I sent PP in December. And you will also find the word “dear” in an October 21 text message to PP; note that as of Oct 30 she was very thankful for my help (i.e., it did not creep her out), as documented below.
However, I am not some Troglodyte sexist (by all but the most narrow of definitions). My wife was a pharmacist and a pharmacy manger, and my daughter is a nurse. I am very proud of the professional achievements of both!
In February 2015 I was waiting for the Pullman flight in SeaTac. Some coaches/players from the women’s basketball team were there, and we were “shooting the breeze”. They asked me what my job was, and I told them a WSU computer science professor. They said “Hey, we have one of these!” (computer science majors). So they told me about PP. I emailed her to drop by please, but it was not until April 2015 that she was able to visit me.
Our visit in April was 1.5 hours: the first 45 minutes or so were spent discussing her career goals, aspirations, and the like[4]. However, I knew, partly from knowing of Kelsey Bueno’s experiences, that it would be crucial for her to build a network of computer science peers in order to help her make it through road trips and the like[5]. So I was proactive here: I spent 45 minutes taking her all around the department, introducing her to as many students (especially female) as I could. And I continued this female-CS-introduction trend throughout the summer and the fall semester. Um, in case you have to be told: not to talk with females that I hoped to recruit for sex, but ones who could be a cornerstone of PP’s academic success while having insane schedule and energy commitments from basketball.
Last summer, PP would come by my office about once a week, and occasionally twice a week. We talked about how her classes were going, her additional difficulties as a foreign student, etc. And, of course, how stupid and arrogant Husky fans were (they are my bête noire (pardon the French)).
One milestone of note happened here roughly mid-summer. WBB Assistant Coach Mike (or Brian?) announced, at the morning practice, that he was leaving the team to spend more time with his family. So that morning at least two foreign WBB players (Bianca and Pinelopi) could not compose themselves enough to attend their morning classes. I later asked why this was so. Pinelopi told me with a laugh, “We could always go into his office if we needed to cry!”. (I later told her that she could cry either in my office or on Beth’s shoulder, and she said that she already understood this.) But that taught me a lesson about how profoundly hard it can be to be a foreign student-athlete. And, without objective data, and at the risk of being called a sexist pig, methinks that it is harder for a female foreign student-athlete than a male one, though I could be wrong. And I probably am. Not for the first time.
Later, at a dinner (see below), Beth said “He [Dave] does not have the time, but he will make the time” [for helping you]. PP said with a smile “Yes, I know.”
Beth and I had PP and “Nastia” (a [SPORT][6] player) over for dinner. I had invited PP over, and told her that she could bring over anyone else that she wanted to: athlete or not, foreign or domestic, male or female, etc. She brought with her Nastia. We had a very nice time. At this time, Nastia had a gimpy lower back L. So I set her up in our “killer” $3K massage chair. Oh, boy, she was melted into place. And a bit later, with her “oohing and awing” and PP smiling, I told to my wife Beth: “I think that we have two new adopted daughters” (Nastia and PP). Not literally, of course, just that they should know they have somewhere that they can visit (no more than once a month, per NCAA) for dinner and to relax and feel like home so as to not miss their home so much. They both smiled (actually, almost purred like cats).
From that night, entries in our guestbook (see the appendix) were:
· Pinelopi: “Thank you for the hospitality and our great conversations”.
· Nastia: “I am very happy to meet you and your family. Great to get to know such intelligent, sweet, and hospitable people.”
On the way home I took them and Beth on a “deer drive[7]” They both enjoyed that lot. Given that it was still green out there, they had a lot of “oo” and “awh” on that trip. Which Beth and I both were happy to hear…
Later a day or two, we would have a crisis involving Nastia; this is described below (in Section 4.3.7). That demonstrates that one of my primary goals is to be proactive with student-athletes, especially ones with particularly difficult situations such as a hard major. And if I can help them, I will!
So for this meal the planned attendees were 3 WSU WBB players: PP, Ivana Kmetovska (Macedonia), Bianca Blanaru (Romania); and Alex Askerman (a computer science student of mine).
Unfortunately, Bianca got stuck in Spokane trying to figure out tax issues with the IRS. (They seem to require a lot of documentation for a foreign student-athlete to get a tax return. This is something that I have worked on with WSU Interim Pres. Daniel Bernardo and hopefully will get fixed for them).
When she sat down at our table, Pinelopi looked at me and said: “When I am here [Bakken home], I feel very happy”. To make a huge understatement, that made Beth and me very happy!
Unfortunately, we could not find the guest book for them to sign that night. L
PP later told me that Ivana had said: “I should meet more people like this. They make me not miss my family so much.” (close paraphrase.)
So the next day we simply had for dinner Bianca, given that she missed the day before, and then Alex again. Unfortunately, we could not find the guest book for them to sign. L But, trust me, they had a great time. I even tried to “crack” Bianca’s back, though given that she was so tall I failed (I am strong enough; next time I’ll get something tall and but strong to stand on).
Guest list: PP, Bianca, Ivana, Mihaela (“Teo”) Berindei (a rower from Romania).
The ladies could not come over in August or September, for various reasons. So the last time we have had them over was on October 2. Beth and I had met Nastia’s roommate, Mihaela (“Teo”), when taking Nastia to the airport (Um, Nastia was then no longer on the WSU roster…ergo no NCAA violation) so she came over, too.
Here are photos from the airport in August (Mihaela and Nastai; then Beth, Nastia, and Dave) then Mihaela at WSU and then Nastia at Miami of Ohio:
Guestbook comments
(emphasis is mine):
PP: “Thank you for your hospitality. Had a great time. J From your least favorite Greek basketball player[8].”
Teo: “Thank you so much for your hospitality. It is very nice to have somebody who inspires you and makes sure that you don’t miss home.”
Bianca: “Thank you for the food, the support, and the jokes. It makes it much more easier for us to have somebody here. God bless your soul and your family!”
You can see that at this point we have had a very positive and healthy (PLATONIC!!) relationship with these female student-athletes; they felt later comfortable enough to ask us for help and advice. Since then, Ivana asked me if I would help teach her how to drive a car. I did that twice (NCAA: buzz off—yes, I would do this for ANY international student who asked me). I had shown the ladies my gun collection (an American cultural difference!). So Bianca, who hopes to become an FBI agent, asked me to help her figure out a good place to learn to shoot (she had gone to one range and said there were a bunch of Saudi guys there, which made her uncomfortable; actually, that is something that I think that I will follow upon, in terms of national security!). So I knew where she should go (but won’t have time until her season is over: a “women and guns” class at the best range in Spokane). Also, Bianca asked for my advice in how she could buy a non-lemon used car. Finally, in the few times that Mihaela has run into Beth or me somewhere (grocery store, CUB, whatnot), the first thing she does is give a big hug, which is quite sweet (as is she). So this is exactly how a young lady might treat her father, not a “stalker”!!
So, the bottom line here is: Dave and Beth are considered almost family to the foreign student-athletes that we have had the blessing have over for dinner. And, to be clear, in case you still have to be told, everything above is what we would gladly do for any international student (OK, not necessarily for long-bearded Saudi types and guns….), and for many American ones. Capiche? Verstehen sie Das? Comprende?
Pinelopi came over alone once sometime roughly about then. I am not sure if she actually had a meal or not. But she came over to play Grand Theft Auto 5 with my son, Sam, who is her age (I kind of hoped that sparked a romance but it did not in the end apparently).
So later in mid-October Beth and I invited the ladies over again. Iva sent a short text saying that she could not make it (PP was also in on this text.) Then PP texted the following:
I
talked to them and told them as their teammate it is my responsibility to tell
you that the dinner invitations are very nice of you but we are SUPER busy with
PRACTICES, SCHOOL, and TEAM ACTIVITIES and we are dedicated athletes so in the
next 4/5 months we rarely will be free! The girls are very well taken care of!
Thank you very much! We appreciate your help!
I said no problem, you are always welcome. PP then followed up with this:
Iva
is right concerning our time availability for the upcoming months. This 20hr
schedule only refers to the basketball practice hours; weight room,
conditioning, treatments, and film room, are not included according to my
understanding. So remember how busy we have been so far and try to imagine, how
tighter our schedules become, given the same amount of school but most likely
double the tiredness (now that we are in season) more than double the team
obligations, such as scouting, recruiting, community service, etc. We truly
appreciate your generosity and feel bad at having to say no to your invitations
so often. But it is what it is and
we must focus on our team and devote more time to ourselves as athletes for
resting and skill development. Hope you
understand.
I replied:
Of
course I understand. And I feel touched
that you feel comfortable being so direct in explaining. Do not feel ONE
BIT bad about having to decline. Only you truly know your constraints and which
OPTIONAL things which you can engage in and still do right for your academics,
team, sleep, sanity, etc. GO COUGS!
Please notice here how comfortable PP was in being direct with me. This, plus her thanks in my “being there for her” (text on Oct 30) were major factors in my overestimating how much interaction was helpful for her in 1H December and discounting the possibility that she was overloaded and/or uncomfortable with the frequency of my messages then, as stupid as this discounting ended up being … L
I now detail a crisis that she had, to demonstrate the trust that she put in me and how I can be very proactive when a student’s well-being is at stake. In this narrative, “[SPORT]” means the sport that Nastia was engaged in, and “[COACH]” was her coach (of [SPORT]) at WSU. This is kinda-anonymized for obvious reasons… Also, as a result of this PP and I had to communicate a lot, and that pattern (more than for most students who are not working with me) continued into the fall.
As noted, above, we met Nastia (and had her over for dinner) on June 12, and we told her and PP that we considered them like “adopted daughters” (they should feel at home here). That next week I was in Chicago all week on a business trip. But then Monday I emailed her and said that at dinner I’d forgotten to ask her about how she ended up in Pullman. She said that she had carefully researched schools with a strong bioengineering program (she hopes to later do a PhD in it later). And also that [COACH] had been such a wonderful person, a great friend, etc.
Nastia got a 4.0 her freshman year in bioengineering at WSU! I had to search WSU to find her email address, and in doing so I noticed a web page that listed the President’s International Honor Roll with her on it. So I told this to her; she did not know it (and probably nobody in the AD did either).
On Sun, Jun 14, 2015 at 4:45 PM, Anastacia
Vasyukhina <vasyukhinaanastacia@gmail.com> wrote: [emphasis from me]
Hello
Dr. Bakken,
Thank
you very much for the invitation [for dinner], but I am going back to Russia on
June 21st and, unfortunately, will not be able to make it. Thank you also
for letting me know that
I made the President's honor roll, I honestly did not even know about that!
I am very glad I achieved that, because, as you noticed, my [SPORT] schedule
was very intense throughout the whole year. I will try to do my best to keep it
up :) And we for sure can talk about Dostoevsky next time, I LOVE his
"Crime and Punishment"!
A
little bit about how I ended up being at WSU. So, I was playing [SPORT] my
whole life, but was not really aware of sport scholarship opportunities in the
USA. My best friend, a [SPORT] player who is a year older than me, was
recruited to IPFW in 2012, so she went there. When she got back in summer, we
met and she told me about her university, team and the USA with so much
excitement that I decided to give it a try. She was recruited through a sport
recruiting agency in [CITY], but I decided to do the recruiting process on my
own. I filmed my recruiting video, passed TOEFL and SAT, and started sending
out the emails to [SPORT] coaches from the schools I was interested
in (based on their
overall academic, [SPORT] and engineering rankings). One of
such schools was WSU. My coach replied that she was interested in me and was
coming to [CITY] to watch me play. When she came, I really liked her
personality and the way she talked about WSU. She offered me a full
scholarship. When it was time for me to decide which university I want to
attend, it was a tough decision as I had offers from many very good
schools, but the deciding factor for
me was my coach's personality. I liked [COACH] so much during her
visit that I realized I really want to go to Washington State. So I signed with
Wazzu and haven't regretted it once as I love it SO MUCH here! So this is the
story :)
As
far as my hobbies are concerned, I am a huge fan of horse-riding. I went in for
horse-riding when I was younger and was pretty successful, but when it was time
for me to choose which sport I want to do professionally, I picked [SPORT]. But
I still love horses and enjoy riding a lot when I have a chance, although this
does not happen very often.
Hope
you have a nice day!
Sincerely,
Anastasiia
воскресенье,
14 июня 2015 г.
пользователь
Dave Bakken (WSU) написал:
Well, that Thursday I get a desperate email from Nastia. In that email and subsequent phone calls she said that [COACH] came back from a recruiting trip. And that [COACH] was trying to get her to transfer and make it sound like it was Nastia’s idea. She was also told if she switched to “general studies, where you would have no homework” it was fine if she stayed.
On Thu, Jun 18, 2015 at 12:32 PM, Anastacia
Vasyukhina <vasyukhinaanastacia@gmail.com> wrote:
Hello Dr. Bakken,
I desperately need to talk
to you about something. Because of my injuries, my coach told me today
that I need to transfer as I will not be able to put in the huge amount of work
on the court that we must put in to play for the school. This is a shock for
me, cause I never expected that, booked a ticket back [home to Russia], rented
an apartment [for the next year], etc. I am leaving on Monday in the early
morning, so I do not even have time to deal with anything. I don't even have
time and opportunity find another good school cause other universities already signed NLI's
with players. Do you know if there is any opportunity here at WSU for an
international student to get full scholarship? I can work, I can study all day
and night, my parents just cannot support me with money...please, let me know!
Thank you!
Sincerely,
Anastasiia
(I did vigorously check around for scholarship opportunities for her, but to no avail alas.)
Nastia was devastated, and I suspected suicidal. So I got her on the phone and talked with her for an hour or so. I then emailed PP and said she really needed to be with her friend. I got a text from PP at 1am or 2am saying she had Nastia over for dinner and she had finally calmed down some. Note that PP had to be up at probably 0530 for workouts.
And this narrative was not just based on Nastia’s word. The next day I called Beth and told her to call Nastia and bring her over and get her in that massage chair; its not like she was going to get any useful academic work in her mental state[9]. So while Nastia was in our massage chair (with Beth 3’ away knitting on our couch), Beth clearly heard plenty from [COACH] that was independent verification of Nastia’s claims. And trying to get rid of a player while injured is an NCAA violation. Um, not to mention quite mean, especially 4 days before she had tickets to fly home.
So then I came back from my trip late Friday. Saturday I came to Nastia’s apartment (which I knew from having dropped her off after dinner the Saturday before). Fortunately, she was not the only one there (had she been, I would not have gone inside): another [SPORT] player (who I know prefers to remain anonymous) and also basketball player Bianca were there (this was the first time that Beth or I had met Bianca or the (female) [SPORT] player). Nastia was clinging to this illusion that [COACH] had earlier her friend; it took the 3 of us at least an hour to dislodge that delusional notion from her mind. And then for another 2 hours we consoled her and encouraged her to move forwards, told her she would land on her feet somewhere, etc.
It is important to realize that this was “dropped into Nastia’s lap” 4 days or so before she was to go back to [COUNTRY] for a month. She was devastated because she thought that her future was being taken away from her. It was also very hard on her parents (who seem to pin a lot of hope on her future). Please keep in mind that she is very different from a (stereo)typical football player being given the hint that they are not likely to get much playing time in the future. They can transfer to most anywhere, because they have a relatively easy and common major, and then generally do. This was not true for Nastia, however, given her deep homework on schools with acceptable academics and bioengineering.
So I considered this both academic and emotional abuse. I was also very disturbed that her coach was trying to dump her while she was injured, and based on only the evaluation of an AD trainer, not a licensed physical therapist. I complained loudly in the AD, and had a meeting with Ann McCoy and Ken Casavant (which PP also attended). I am told that that Nastia’s coach got negative feedback (on her official employee record) from her boss in a formal meeting about her handling of Nastia.
Please do note that this was an example of me being proactive and helping an international student-athlete. Notice a pattern here? While I am not by nature a “Buttinski” --- I have neither time nor inclination – when someone needs help, and I can help, I act.
But in doing this I probably ruffled some feathers in the AD, which may affect the current issue of me “stalking” PP by email and text in early December. Maybe. Or maybe not.
And, as a followup, I note that Beth and I talked with Nastia in late December (we call her about once a month to chat). I told her that after her BS, she would be most welcome by the Bioengineering professors that she has made an impression on to do her graduate studies here. She said that this was not possible: she was so terrified of running into [COACH] in town–someone who has caused her and her parents so much emotional pain–that she simply could not contemplate coming to grad school in Pullman. (Hopefully [COACH] will have moved on from WSU by the time Nastia is applying for graduate school; we’ll see.)
Here I document the women’s basketball practices that I have attended. I note that I had talked with Coach June a few times in 2015, profusely thanking her for caring so much about her players’ academics (something that PP, Ivana, and Bianca had repeatedly told Beth and me). And I had talked with her briefly in 2014 regarding WSU Team Gleason (which I am the advisor for); Melissa Erickson, a former player of hers at the UW, died at 23 of ALS.
So then the first practice that I attended was on or about October 23. This was with Beth. After practice was dismissed, all the players came up and introduced themselves individually to Beth and me. We felt that this was very classy, and was frankly quite sweet (certainly June instructed them to do this).
The second practice that I attended was on November 10. I knew that the team had two new freshman Bulgarian players (Borislava and Maria), and that they would likely be very homesick about now. So I brought with a female professor from Bulgaria, Venera Anoudova, who was new in (my department) EECS; she is of Slavic origin just like the two players (i.e., instead of being of Bulgar or Thracian origin). She met Borislava and Maria and were going to follow up and have them over for dinner after their season is over. I think that the players really appreciated this, judging by their reactions to Venera speaking a little Bulgarian to them. A little home away from home…
After this practice there was an example of the very healthy relationship that PP and I had (and hopefully will again). She knows very well that I routinely say things “tongue-in-cheek”. And during the last hour of practice, she had been knocked down hard by one of the male players with whom they scrimmage (she was on the ground for roughly 20 seconds after the collision; it was not clear that she would be getting up without assistance). So when she later came off the court and greeted me, on the way out of practice, I said “Hey, that guy knocked you down. Do you want me to go and beat him up?”. Without missing a beat, she said “Lets go!” with a straight face while pretending to start to walk towards the guy. Note that this is the sign of a very positive relationship with a lot of trust (and fun).
Finally, I started to attend one more practice. On November 25 I texted Kate Werner (WBB director of operations, whom I had met) and asked her if there was a practice that day. She said yes, and gave me the info. But then a few minutes after I sat down she texted me and said that the staff had (previously) decided to have closed practices that week “for team focus reasons”.
Now, when I met with Ken Casavant on 04-JAN-2016 he said that he had heard that I had been blackballed from practices because it was distracting to PP. I think this is highly unlikely, because I would think/hope that June or Kate would simply tell me. And it was not until December 9 that the AD person in charge of the Degree Participation Program got alarmed because she thought I was helping PP too much (See Section 10). However, I could see how in general having a professor mentor at practice could distract someone, even though the visitors sit far away across the second court. However, I believe that is highly unlikely that, as of November 25, PP was distracted because I was “stalking” her. This is a huge reason that I have so carefully documented the timeline of my interactions with the international student-athletes.
The fact that Ken had heard that I had apparently been blackballed from a practice shows that people in the AD have been talking about me. I consider the notion that I was blackballed because I was “stalking” PP to be (literally) slanderous, though, as I said, I could see how in general any visitor, especially a player’s mentor, could be considered distracting. And if this is the case I am of course happy to not go to any WBB practice. But I could also see how some people in the AD whose feathers I have ruffled may conveniently assume and promulgate this slanderous fiction. This is a major reason for my bothering to spend so much time writing up this document; that plus the term “stalking” being used.
Due to an academic crisis, on October 30 I met with Pinelopi 3 times on that day. Glad to help…
PP had an advising meeting scheduled at 1000 with myself and the EECS undergraduate advisor (Josh Whiting). That meeting was scheduled for about 20 minutes (PP schedules her time very tightly). Because PP had told me that she had hoped to improve her English writing skills, I had my son Adam drop by here. Adam is extremely good at creative writing (and is up to fluency in 4 foreign languages) and has worked tutoring students in the Writing Center for 3 years. So Adam overviewed the opportunities to get English improved on campus after we had decided on her spring classes.
After the meeting had broken up, PP told me in passing that she had failed her midterm in a key CptS class, 223 (she got 23 when the average was 31/50). I was in a left-brain mode of getting her out fast, due to her extreme schedule, so this sometimes-clueless guy said something like “bummer, let’s talk about it later”.
But then an hour or two later I clued in – I realized that she must be emotionally devastated (right-brain). So I emailed or texted her saying she must be devastated (and apologizing for not clueing in earlier) and could we talk later that day. We agreed to meet at the volleyball match that night, which Beth and I were planning on attending.
At the volleyball match, PP and I ducked out into the PEB to talk, which we did for about 15 minutes. I told her that she could do CptS, for sure. At the end I gave her a big hug, which she appreciated. She told me that she could not have gotten as far as she had without my encouragement. We then went back and rejoined Beth at the volleyball match. After a bit PP excused herself and said she need to go study in the CUB.
As Beth and I were leaving the volleyball match, I realized that PP still needed some support, at least emotionally. (Wow: a guy clueing in to right-brain stuff; whodda thunk it?) So I had Beth walk to the CUB (up the elevator to the food court) while I parked the car under Holland and then found her. We both found PP in the food court, studying with with (American) teammate Alexis Swedlund. I helped PP clear up some confusion on one of her homework assignments. Then as we were leaving, with Beth right there I put my hand on her shoulder and told her “you can do this stuff; you really can!”.
So her is a text message that Pinelopi sent me later that night:
[emphasis by me] …. Thank you for your help and support. It was what I needed the most and I appreciate the fact that you are always there
for me!!
Please do note that that, as of Oct 30, this
is evidence of a very healthy mentor-mentee relationship! But, um,
not one of a passive mentor who lets mentees crash and burn and then maybe has
a half hour to pick up the pieces months later…. Also, I assert that my
over-helpfulness in November and December was what I believed to be being there
for her, per her comment above.
Immediately after October 30, I looked into EECS departmental resources for tutoring. Fortunately, I was able to arrange for the best possible tutor for PP (EECS has great tutoring resources and a huge priority on female undergrad retention; um, this is independent of a student’s NCAA athlete status!). (All that the AD could provide was one hour/week of a Chinese graduate student, which would be almost completely worthless for PP, for reasons I will omit in this document.)
This tutor was Raeann Marks, who is (1) tied for the smartest undergrad that I have met in CptS (2) the most positive person that I have ever met (she worked in my research lab 2 summers prior), and (3) was on the rowing team her first year or two at WSU. To help you understand her stature inside EECS and VCEA, Dean Candis Claiborn chose her to represent the Voiland College of Engineering and Architecture (VCEA) in the December Commencement.
So then Rae met with PP a number of times in the first few days of November. After meeting with PP, Rae told me this about PP (ca. 05-NOV-2015):
1. She is very smart
2. She is very determined to not change majors (away from computer science).
So as of about 5 weeks before final examinations, PP was determined to not change majors away from CptS. It is very sad that, not that long after Nov-5, she seemed to be considering switching majors. And I consider my cluelessness about not overloading her with email/texts to be a (potentially huge) factor here. And for that I literally grieve.
Just for context, on 02-NOV I had an email exchange with Rae. I was thinking of emailing PP and asked Rae if I was being overprotective of PP. She said yes, I replied:
K, my dear friend, thank you so
much for, first of all, being candid. And I was very reassured that you have
talked with her not just after I did Sunday, but also today (Monday).
Very cool...
I will indeed dial back my concern for PP until and unless I
hear from your and/or others closer to her academic pulse. Its just, as you
have no doubt guessed, that Beth and I love this sweet young lady to
death and would hate for her to (apparently) unnecessarily move out
of CS. However, I humongously trust your judgement, and now it’s been twice
(gently and diplomatically) telling me to back off a bit. Given the deep trust
I have in you, I certainly will! Um, if not, I have a bullwhip in my office
that you may indeed use on me! :-}
She replied:
You're the best, Dave! Thanks for
understanding. I think she'll relax a bit more, and of course she always knows that you are an awesome
resource when she needs to vent/get help, etc. It's great that she has somebody looking out for her
like she does with you.
So during the month of November PP was losing confidence. She emailed or texted me at least once “I don’t know as much as other people think I do”. Rae and I tried to explain to her that this is true for most students. Men, in particular, don’t admit vulnerability concerns nearly as much as women often will. And given that 85% or so of her undergrad CS peers are men, its not that hard to see how she concluded this; she probably has never flunked an exam or felt she might get a low B or a C. (Many guys in CS are happy for either, which I am sure that she does/did not understand). Additionally, she would always dash off to the gyms rather than hanging around with her CS peers. If she had, she would have heard other students express doubt and anxiety about that class.
She was probably also falling into the trap of comparing herself to Rae, who is in the top 0.1% of CS undergrads. PP’s left brain no doubt knows this very well, but that does not mean that it didn’t affect her right brain emotions.
I now offer some data points to help identify when PP may have begun to feel overwhelmed by my communications. This is crucial, for example to help establish a timeline of when she may have been overwhelmed by my over-helpfulness, and in particular if she felt uncomfortable with me watching her practice because she felt that I was “stalking her”, something that I consider to be less credible than male bovine feces.
“Hey
ladies great game! Above is the final scoreboard. [I attached a picture] My
throat is more sore than it is after most home football games; P can testify
that I am a rabid fan of them (and now you ladies, too)”
Pinelopi: “Thank you so much for all your support!!!!
It is so much appreciated. We’re honored for that [my sore throat] hahaha”.
Bianca: “Thank you for coming!”
Ivana: “Thank you very much”
These interactions are more evidence of very healthy (um, platonic) relationships with the 3 foreign basketball players with whom I’ve had interactions with, as of mid-November.
EECS is very proud to have any student-athletes take on such a hard major. In order to show support for PP, on 17 NOV we had “EECS Night”. This was where the EECS Director sent email to the undergrads inviting them to come to the game, and there were 200 free tickets available in the EECS office[10]. (I note that EECS plans to do this for any other student-athlete that majors in EE or CS, once they are a sophomore and certified.)
So on this night we had a few banners up in Beasley and the like. As of this night, here is a text dialogue between PP and me:
Me: sorry only 32 came….
PP: “Don’t’
be sorry at all, the people who made it were the ones I wanted to see and I’m
happy they came J”
“Thank you for making this happen!”
Me: were you able to read the Greek banner [that said “Pinelopi will succeed in programming”]?
PP: “Yes I could. My friend saw it first and pointed at it so I was positively surprised to see it J”
In retrospect, however, given that PP was doubting herself, this may have added to any pressure that she was feeling over being inadequate in CptS. L
PP and I had not met (or talked) since October 30, so I arranged a meeting on Dec 7. I knew that she had a class (CptS 223) in the same building as she had my class (CptS 224) the hour later. So I suggested that we meet in the hallway between these classes for her.
There were a few things to coordinate on (see above and below). We had a cordial and productive 2-3 minute meeting to discuss her status/progress/etc. That is the last time that I have seen or talked to her since October 30 (not exactly “stalking,” eh?).
I suggested that we also meet on Dec 9, in between her 223 and 224 classes (in the same building). Her text reply [emphasis mine] on 08-DEC-2015 was:
Good morning! I won’t be in school
today as I have two make up exams to take later today and I’m currently
preparing for them. Thank you for your email.
For Sunday’s review session with
Alex, as for now it sounds like I will be able to attend it but can’t confirm
yet because I still have lots of things to catch up with and can’t know for
sure about 4 days from how. Have a good
day and thank you for your support!
I taught PP last fall in CptS 224, a pretty easy class to expose the students to a breadth of practical stuff: Linux, Linux tools, scripting languages, source code management, etc. In that context I had made sure that the review session did not conflict with her travel (as I would do for any student with a good reason for being gone!). So I had texted her about that. I got a reply on 13-DEC (emphasis is mine):
Thank
you! I’m sorry I couldn’t come to the review session, we had to attend lunch with some
supporters of our team this afternoon.
DANGER, WILL ROBINSON! Do you see a problem here? Why on earth should ANY basketball player be asked to meet with supporters during finals season? And, if any were, why on earth should a player with the hardest major on the team go? I know the answer here: PP is a very sweet young lady who loves to help her team, so she of course volunteered to go (or, at the very least, did not feel comfortable saying “no”). That inclination is part of why she and struggled and lacked confidence in CptS 223 (did not hang around enough with CS peers to understand that they also struggled).
But this demonstrates that, at least to some level, our mentor-mentee relationship was still (arguably at least somewhat) intact as of 13-DEC. On the other hand, she did break down crying about this time. :={
The MANY Things I had to discuss
with Pinelopi in the last month of the semester and beyond:
1. Encouraging her (she lost confidence after the tubing the midterm; she does not hang out any with CS peers AFAIK --- so she does not know that many of them struggle, too)
2. Seeing how tutoring was going
3. Her parents invited to come over for dinner (she said that “they were really looking forward to meeting me”)
a. Was a dinner at our house going to work out for them?
b. I had to line up our personal cook, which takes advanced planning!!
4. Her brother, who is finishing a BS in electrical engineering and is very interested in doing graduate studies in electric power (possibly at WSU, which has #3 in the country; I arranged a tour for him and his father with demos on Dec 29)
a. I had to line up PhD students and postdocs to give parts of the tour, something that needs advanced planning especially over the winter break!
5. Details of what a 5th year would look like for her in the degree completion program (DCP). Virtually nobody finishes a BS in CS in 4 years: most take 4.5 and some take 5. And these are non-athletes. A major driver of PP’s overloading is that she insists on finishing in 4 years to keep open her options for playing basketball professionally or on the Greek national team afterwards. So I had told her that I was researching “Plan B”
6. Iterating on which CptS classes she could take in the spring; there was a possibility that some that conflicted with her practices were going to be moved earlier (I was actively working on that, with her in the loop). In November she was under the impression that her team could be a little flexible in the time of their practices (which are shorter once the competition schedule starts) because she was the only student-athlete in an uncommon major (that might have required classes offered only one time). However, in late November or early December she was made aware that this was not true. L
7. Discussing CptS 224, which she was taking from me. In particular, she had a few road trips in the last 2-3 weeks of the semester and this required coordination.
This explains the almost-daily communication from me to PP in the first half of December. (OK, but it does not explain my admitted cluelessness in interpreting her lack of a reply, as I have admitted earlier. Mea culpa magnum opus L .)
In the week or two following the final exams, there was one more reason for PP and I to communicate/coordinate. That is, she had told me the rough schedule of her family’s visit to our fine state. Ergo, about the time that it seemed that her family (with her) may be driving across the state, I sent daily email updates to her with mountain pass conditions. (As a WSU undergrad in the early 1980s, I drove across Snoqualmie Pass ten or more times during winter; um, a Greek family has not likely ever encountered such obstacles and would be unlikely to foresee the realities therein.) Um, I could imagine that most mentors would not do this, but, then, if the reader has been paying any attention at all he/she would notice that I am not your typical passive mentor, at least not when international student-athletes are concerned.
Ergo, in 2H December there was another reason that I was communicating with PP:
8. Her Greek family was going to drive over a mountain pass without any clue of what they would face. L
(This was even more
reason that we needed to communicate in 2H December.) Indeed, this ended up
being prophetic. I was told later that their journey from Seattle to Spokane
took 12 hours (I had emailed PP a map to go through Portland and take only 8
hours.) Oh, well: they probably now have an epic story to tell many generations
to come. Arguably not as rich as what Homer wrote about, but still presumably
worthy of retelling!
So here I will detail my interactions with WSU NCAA sports teams and athletes, for completeness.
When I first came to WSU in 1999, I told the football office that I would be happy to meet with recruits to talk about academics. So, since then, multiple coaches have taken me up on that opportunity (estimates follow): Price (10), Doba (6), Wulff (4), Leach (4). Like I said earlier, I have huge respect for any student-athlete who wants to excel at both (i.e. by doing a hard major). So I am happy to introduce myself here, express my positive views of WSU and Pullman to them, etc. And, when the parents come, I have been highly effective in convincing them to have their son come to WSU.
It is long known that I am a huge fan of WSU football (double entendre alert!). In the interval between when I left WSU as an undergrad in 1995 and when I “came home” as a professor in 1999, most years I came back “home” for a home football game.
So, on the face of it, that ought to make me suspect of being a “jock sniffer”.
However, consider this: in my 17 years as a professor, I have been able to attend one football practice every 2 years or so, and at best one scrimmage every season. And I have never gone to that “Letter of Intent” signing party at Northern Qwest each February on signing day until this year. Not exactly the profile of a hard core “jock sniffer”, eh?
About 3 years ago, I was watching the spring game with a postoc of mine, in the then-new luxury suites. A few seats away (with nobody between), we saw a middle-age women very much “getting into” the scrimmage. We started to chat, and learned that she was the mother of Tyler Baker, a WR from Texas. I told her I would be happy to interact with (from a parent’s perspective, “be there for” Tyler in her absence). I gave her my business card.
So, as a result of this, Beth and I ended up having him over for dinner twice over two years (dates uncertain). And I lined him up with some farmers I know to go deer hunting (with his own rifle and ammo) a few years ago when he was not on the travel squad. (NOTE: I would have done this for any out-of-state student who asked me; in fact, I HAVE done this for some non-athletes from Oregon!)
I am a very vocal and rabid WSU football fan. However, I have not ever engaged in any behavior that might be remotely considered “jock sniffing”. So, if I have not done this, how/why on earth would I do it for a new team I now follow, WBB? (I have already addressed sexual motivations elsewhere.)
So I fully understand that PP melted partly under the weight of my communications (and, most likely, also due to her inability to reply to them in a timely basis WHICH IS NOT HER FAULT!). For that, I am profoundly sad. She is one very special human being, with very high academic and athletic goals. And, as noted, Coach June said first time I discussed Pinelopi “she is a sweetheart!”. And I do note that she was elected, as a sophomore, to be 4 of the “leadership team” from among the 14 players on the roster. And, as far as I can tell, all of the foreign student-athletes who have met her absolutely love her. So such a person deserves not to be brought to tears by her mentor, especially in what may well have been both the most stressful period of her life and also one that may well change the trajectory of 40+ years of her post-basketball life. Shame on me! L
But, as elaborated upon comprehensively above, this is not due to me “stalking” PP, but rather my cluelessness about her overload. If anyone in the AD feels otherwise, they should really have a long talk with FAR Ken Casavant.
Indeed, almost prophetically, I had an email exchange with Prof. Michael Tsatsomeros (Math), who is a long-time friend of PP’s family from Greece (i.e, way before she came to WSU; emphasis is mine):
10-11-2015:
Hi Dave.
Thanks for your interest in Pinelopi. She is a
wonderful
human being and will surely accomplish a lot in
her life.
I have a daughter who is doing a double major at
WSU. She is about the same age as
Pinelopi. The common complaint I hear from both
is about the lack of time to fulfill their obligations. It's
creating a lot of stress for them that can surely affect their health. It's
not easy as parents or advisers to help them overcome this challenge. They are perfectionists and
overachievers and it doesn't seem right
to ask them to slow down. I finally convinced
my daughter to take a lighter load this year and enjoy learning. I have suggested the same to Pinelopi, as well as not being shy seeking help from her
professors. You are in a position to also give her good advice in
that respect.
Looking forward to meeting you soon.
That basically sums up the wonderful human being that is PP. And I have explained arguably without any doubt that my involvement with her was strictly platonic mentorship.
Indeed, if someone in the WSU AD has any
questions about this, I suggest—no, I demand—that he or she not only talks with
Ken Casavant, but it also interviews the
foreign student-athletes mentioned in this document:
1.
PP (well, duh!)
2.
Ivana Kmetovska (WBB)
3.
Bianca Blanaru (WBB)
4.
Mihaela-Teodora (“Teo”) Berindei
(rowing)
5.
Nastia (now at another
university); vasyukhinaanastacia@gmail.com
For background, it is my considered opinion that PP is at least at the 80th percentile among BSCS undergrads, and probably at about the 90th percentile. (But probably nowhere near the 99.9th percentile that Rae, whom she may have been comparing herself to, is at. L)
OK, so as of mid-November, PP was still planning on doing a BSCS. However, when I watched the DVR replay of the Gonzaga game (Dec 8), I (sadly) heard the commentator (Cindy Brunson, whom PP has described in the past as “awesome”) say that PP was considering a pre-med major (and also that her parents were watching in Athens, which unfortunately was not realistic given the P12N overseas data delivery mechanisms via Youtube).
Given that pre-med is not likely any easier than a BSCS, that hinted to me that PP was not thinking things through. And that later she was doing a business degree (MIS) — a “crap degree” — reinforces this.
Then I did meet with PP’s father, Tasos, when taking her brother Vasilly around my department for a tour of the electric power research (on 29-DEC-2015). At the time, he thought that her focus on finishing in 4 years no matter what was short-sighted. We were going to meet to discuss this with PP the next day … but then they decided to head back to Seattle early (to avoid any other long winter cross-state commutes it seems). I have no idea of that kind of spontaneously happened on its own, or PP (understandably) helped ensure that outcome so she did not have to see me (something that grieves me, but I now understand).
So the next day I get a call from Tasos who says (his English is not good, so this is it):
PP will be doing an MIS major
(business “computing”) with a CptS minor.
Based on the above, it was pretty clear to me that PP was not thinking things through. To wit,
· Pre-med is not necessarily an easier major than CS!
· With an MIS degree very few companies would be likely to go through the large expense of getting an employee a green card (PP stated very clearly that she wanted to work in the US after her basketball days were over, not be limited to Greece).
So here is my advice based on that:
If PP realizes this spring or summer that MIS is a dead end for her, it would still not be too late for her to finish a BSCS if she got back into it this August. Or math. But she of course would need a 5th year in the degree completion program (DCP). (I offer these observations having earned both a BS in CompSci and a BS in Math from WSU in 1985).
11 Unfinished Business with PamB: DCP Stonewalling, Cutting off Communications, and Slander
Virtually no non-athletes finish a BS in Computer Science (BSCS) in 4 years. Many take 4.5 years, and some take 5. Yet PP was insisting on finishing in 4 years (to optimize her chances of playing post-WSU). I and a few others warned her a number of times that a BSCS in 4 years with basketball, even with summers, was not going to happen.
I knew this was not going to end well. I thought she would crash in burn in February (2016), not December is it later turned out to be. So in early October I proactively began doing work to see if the degree completion program (DCP) would suit her needs. I note that most professors would not bother, just let them crash and burn etc. But she was my departmental mentee, and I am VERY impressed by student-athletes who want to excel both at athletics and academics. Ergo, my proactivity here; a hands-off crash-and-burn was not going to happen on my watch!
There were two parts to my inquiry:
Academic/financial: how long would they pay for, and under what conditions? I know very well that the APR means that they will be inclined to ensure she finishes her degree. But was the DCP 100% guaranteed, and what restrictions would there be on her during it?
Baskeball: how much, if any, could she participate with the team (if June were willing), use varsity training equipment, etc.?
Unless I had very solid and conclusive answers to these kinds of questions, there was little chance that I could persuade Pinelopi to dial back her coursework to assume 5 years. Ergo, my quests into the Academic/financial and basketball implications and possibilities of the DCP.
Towards that end I emailed Pam Bradetich, who supervises the DCP, in early October. Following are subsequent email messages with her and a few regarding basketball with Coach June and also Director of Compliance John Lucier.
Emphasis is mine below for this document in all email below unless otherwise noted.
11.1 PamBàDB (cc Cynthia Castro AKA CC) 10/29
Dr. Bakken,
I wanted to get back to you regarding your question about our
Degree Completion Program.
Our program is designed to assist student-athletes with
completing their first bachelor’s degree. Our financial aid is available
for maximum of two terms (summer counts as a term) after they complete their
eligibility. The summer term aid would include tuition, room and board, books,
and fees. If a student-athlete needs the fall term, the aid would include
tuition, books, and fees. And so, from a financial perspective, we really
try to plan ahead so that we have August graduates, if possible.
We do not have a high number of student-athletes receiving aid
after they exhaust their eligibility, because we fully fund the summer school
for first year students prior to full time enrollment, as well as each summer
while they are competing.
The Degree Completion Program is open to all sports and is NOT
targeted toward low performing/motivated student-athletes. The majority
of student-athletes are in sports other than football, because more football
student-athletes tend to redshirt and/or are on track to graduate in December
of their senior year.
Hope this answers your question generally. We can talk more specifically about Pinelopi if you would like.
Thanks for your question.
Pam Bradetich
Sr. Associate Director of Athletics
335-0284
11.2 Dave Tries to Make Contact: November
After I received PamB’s email of 10/29, I tried calling PamB a few times and dropping by a few times. No luck.
A lot happens now on December 4. On that day I was in the PEB for a lunch meeting of Ron Minnix’s mentoring program. So I dropped by afterwards and visited CC to talk about Pinelopi, her to understand anything I was not sure she knew, etc. We had a very positive and cordial chat of about a half an hour. This included asking what she knew about the DCP. She sent me next door to Thad, whom PamB was training to take over the day-to-day operations of the DCP. So I found out pretty much what I needed to know. (If PamB reads this: don’t blame Thad for not being a jerk to a professor!)
But as December 4, the Friday before closed week, progressed, Pam began to stonewall me. Even worse, she
11.3 DBàPamB 12/4/15
Hi Pam,
I would like to talk about the DCP and Pinelopi soon. I"m
home sick today alas and am sleeping the next few hours (hopefully).
But a quick question (maybe for John Lucier): if she stays
around for a 5th year with DCP, would she be disallowed from working out with
the team, using the weights, etc? (June would still have to agree of
course.)
I ask this because Pinelopi has high hopes of playing basketball
after WSU (maybe her national team or something) and wants very much to keep
this option open. And not being in the loop in basketball would be fatal to
this. She is very unlikely to successfully complete her CptS degree in 4 years
with summers, so, unless June lets her redshirt (if Pinelopi actually asks her
for this; I will talk with her soon) the DCP with playing is her only
hope. I do know firsthand that June thinks very highly of her as a person
and as a leader so she may be delighted to have her around another year.
Thanks
Dave
11.4 PamBàDB 12/4/15
Notice that PamB is beginning to be defensive here….
Hi Dave,
We typically discuss DCP
directly with the student-athlete[11], since there are a variety of factors to consider.
Would you please refer Pinelopi to me. If she needs to be here an additional
two semesters, she will need to understand what type of financial aid will be
available, work/internship expectations,
and the NCAA rules that apply to a degree completion student.
Thanks and I hope you’re feeling better.
Pam
11.5 DBàPamB 12/4/15
Maybe we can talk and you can tell me the outlines. She is not
applying for it at this point. She is way too overburied to think about
anything other than academic survival now, given she is in a hard major.
I am just trying to understand if accomplishing her playing goals is possible
within the framework of what is allowable in DCP. I.e. do a first-cut sanity
check on this for her.
I may be able to persuade her to stop by your office in early January, but highly unlikely
before. Her tutor reports it is even hard to get ahold of her on her road trip
now to do skyping for tutoring help on homework sent for the tutor to review.
But she may well be making
decisions now that will affect her career so at least knowing what is
likely possible is helpful (but you are not promising anything). She would possibly
be able to meet with you right after finals many years. But this year her
parents and brother are visiting in the US, and right after she gets back from
a road trip in Kansas she is in Seattle with them for 5 days then Spokane for a
day or two. Then Pullman about the 26th to 30th, when the university is closed
(other than Beasley, one presumes; WBB hosts the mutts on the 29th).
Ironically, she did poorly on a midterm about a month ago. So my
wife and I came to a volleyball match that night where her team was signing
posters. Pinelopi and I ducked out into the PEB to talk about academics etc.
The meeting room she thought we could talk in was being used, so we just talked
in a hallway. I looked to my left and on the office door there was your name!
I hope we can talk Monday first thing. Possible? I am not
feeling better yet but am resting and think I'll be fine by Monday. […]
You can see that here I am trying to coax information about the DCP out of her by explaining why I need to know now based on PP’s extreme goals. That did not go down well with PamB for some reason… so she cc’d Dean Candis Claiborn.
11.6 PamBàDB 12/8/15 Pam cc’d Dean Candis Claiborn
Dave,
I have had a busy two days of meetings and so could not return
your voice message.
As I said in my earlier email, our degree completion financial
aid discussions are directly with our
student-athletes[12]. We encourage and expect student-athletes to take
the responsibility to communicate for themselves regarding their academic plans,
as well as their athletic and professional goals.
I do not need you to persuade her to meet with me. When/if
I need to meet with a student-athlete, I will have him/her in my office as soon
as the situation warrants.
Also, I do not understand
why you know and are sharing so much information with me regarding Pinelopi’s
personal schedule, your concern about DCP and her need to train for
professional opportunities, how busy/buried you think she is, or if she
should redshirt. You seem to be too involved in the
personal-athletic life of this student-athlete.
Pam
So, to me, she seems to not grasp the concept that a mentor might
actually be proactive. She seems to assume they will always do what
she seems willing to do: let the student crash and burn and then pick up
the pieces (as much as possible) later. Indeed, I have no idea of what
motivates her in life, but her actions are utterly indistinguishable from those
of someone who does not give a damn about the students. Well, if I see a trainwreck coming in
one of my mentees I am NOT going to let it happen without trying to prevent that
trainwreck, a possibility that she did not seem to think existed.
After this, email exchanged went downhill, with me explaining why I was being proactive to avoid a train wreck, and PamB pathetically stonewalling. I’ll spare you the details, but am happy to provide if requested.
As noted elsewhere in this document, from there it went downhill:
1. Some time in closed week or finals week PP, who was under huge stress, broke down crying in an AD office (most likely her AD advisor, Cynthia Castro). As noted in Section 6.6, I had 6 major reasons to be communicating with PP in 1H December: encouragement (See Sec. 5.6), checking on tutoring, parental dinner invitation, brother’s tour of my department, DCP, and the emerging list of classes she could take in the spring. While it may be convenient and self-serving for me to assume this, I believe it true (and a friend of PP’s told me it was) that my emailing or texting daily or so in the first half of December was not the entire reason for her breaking down crying, or not even the only reason other than an insane schedule. That is, because I have been very kind and helpful to PP and she probably feels like she has let me down or I’m disappointed with her etc.
2. Somehow someone injected the word “stalking” to describe my interactions with PP. I think it is most likely PamB, though I am trying to verify that PP did not say this word (if CC did that is not completely unreasonable; she did not know me much, though we did have a very cordial chat. If PamB injected that word then that is a BIG NO NO. She jumped to a big conclusion here based on what the common person would consider quite unreasonable info (based on this big slur that “stalking” implies).
3. Someone inside the AD (most likely PamB) tried to get the Office of Equal Opportunity (i.e., the PC police) to investigate me. So she was trying to get me fired (or run out of town)! Maybe also she thought it would make her look good to the PC crowd on campus, or maybe even be a great addition to her resume to have taken down some Ogar professor whom she could convince others was stalking; wow, she’d be a hero! (I note that this could have been viewed good for her career even if she did not fully believe in the “stalking” and sexual interest by me … it is still convenient for her to assert that. But she may well have the same bias that the PC crowd in any PC police outfit like OEO would: someone who had the great insensitivity as to be born a white male is starting out with the presumption of guilt).
PamB not only stonewalled me on my pursuit to know how a DCP would work for PP on the academic/financial side, but also on the basketball side:
11.7 DBàPamB 12/8/2015
Pam [cc to Candis as you did, Pam]
Thanks for your reply. I completely understand
why you could not reply to my voice messages!
Also, I do not
understand why you know and are sharing so much information with me regarding
Pinelopi’s personal schedule, your concern about DCP and her need to train for
professional opportunities, how busy/buried you think she is, or if she
should redshirt. You seem to be too involved in the
personal-athletic life of this student-athlete.
Thank you for candidly sharing your concerns
here. I
indeed am involved with helping Pinelopi succeed as her EECS mentor. She has
over-ambitious goals of finishing in 4 years (to keep open pro playing
options). I have told her, as has her super tutor Raeann Marks (a former rower
and tied for the smartest undergrad that I have ever met; Candis knows
her and knows well of her). However, Pinelopi is very
determined. Yet few non-athlete students finish a CptS degree in 4
years; 4.5 is most common but it takes many 5 years. And, yes, I know about
summer support for student-athletes, but it only helps so much (after sophomore
year few CptS classes are offered).
(FYI my wife and I have had 200-300+
international students over to our home for dinner in our 30 years of marriage;
most *(>75%) of these students would not otherwise ever get inside an
American home even once. So this is just what we do... and, yes, Pinelopi
has been over as have a few of her foreign teammates. And, as a result, we have
adopted the women's BB team kinda of as fans).
(Indeed, I was just chatting with Candis about Pinelopi a
week or so ago, and the former said that it was very important for us
that the latter succeed, and how can we get more such student-athletes.
Well, we have two more, whom I am the (pre-certification) EECS
mentor for: a baseball player (Jacob Thurber) and a soccer player (Julia
Reneau). But I don't think that they are as over-driven as Pinelopi is so there
will very likely be a lot less proactive homework, if any, for me to do.
But they certainly will take care and feeding to have a chance to achieve their
goal of a BS in CptS.)
There
is a very good chance that this will not end well for Pinelopi[13], and likely in about February or early March[14]. Given her schedule for travel (just got back
from a 9-day trip) and her upcoming travel, and her determination to finish in
4 years, there is zero chance that she will ask to have a meeting with you
before January, by which time some forks in the road for her scheduling
of spring classes will be well passed. And if you pull her into
a meeting involuntarily then that is not likely to be productive either.
IMO; YMMV.
And I am trying to VERY PROACTIVELY ascertain
her fallback positions her so if/when she does crash hopefully it hopefully
won't be catastrophic (at a crash point, I cannot hope to determine her options
in a few days). You are (implicitly) right, faculty rarely do
this. But I am not a normal faculty in a number of dimensions (as Candis
knows). I am a WSU undergrad alum ('85) who has huge respect for any
student-athlete who hopes to excel at both (rather than taking an easy
major and being content with a 2.2 GPA), and I want to do anything I can to
help them.
I would love to take you up on your original
offer of explaining the DCP program to me. Is there any reason that you cannot honor
this original offer in the general case and independent of any given student-athlete?
This information is almost certainly all in the public domain via the NCAA, but
it would be impractical for me to dig it all up (and it would not contain the
practical realities that may well dominate issues). As a public servant, is there
any reason that you cannot provide me this information in summary phone over
the phone and answer a few followup questions? I'll even expend the extra time
and effort to come to your office if you like.
As I hope you have guessed by now, I have
provided extra information in order to hopefully elicit some useful information
from you, in order to help advise Pinelopi. I have identified 3 fallback
options for her, but in talking with international programs today then one of
these is ruled out alas due to visa reasons. So its either redshirting her next
year (a rare thing for a hoopster it seems) or the DCP (if June would let her
work out and practice with the team) are her only 2 paths to a degree in
computer science. And I am trying my best to figure out how realistic either
is, for Pinelopi's sake. Comprende?
Without such fallback info, and her insisting
on 4 years, the most likely result is her burning out and giving up on a
CompSci degree. This is something that seems to me to be unnecessary,
though YMMV, and highly undesirable.
I look forward to your reply. Let’s
talk! And I apologize for the length of this email; as Mark Twain said,
had I more time I could have made it shorter.
Best Regards,
Dave (WSU '85)
11.8 June Daugherty to DB 12/17
I had a very good relationship with June. Many of her players had told me how she really cares for her players and stresses academics etc. So at a football game pregame in Coug Village (in early September), she was there with the team signing posters. I thanked her profusely for 5-10 minutes for caring for her players’ academics. I also had Pinelopi write on my arm with a thick black Sharpie:
Οι
Ελληνίδες υπερέχουν και
στην
καλαθοσφαίριση
και στον
προγραμματισμό
Which is Greek for “Greek women can excel at both basketball and programming”.
And then when Beth and I came to a practice on Oct 23, afterwards she had all the team come up and introduce themselves to us (see Section 4.4). That was very classy.
But then I was trying to find out basketball realities of DCP from June, and she replied:
Dave, Happy holidays ! It is my understanding that Pam is communicating with you in regards to this situation.
Happy Holidays to you and your family!
Go Cougs!
June
So PamB was not only stonewalling me, she was preventing me from getting some of the answers I needed from others! WRONG! I am going to arrange for her to get career feedback on this from her boss, and she will also have consequences of any part she had for unwarranted slandering of me.
So I have been fortunate to have been able to help many other people in my life. Some are mentioned above, but now here I describe some others more germane to the charges that I may well be a “jock sniffer” interested in just getting close to sports teams.
About 4 years ago, my postdoc and I were watching a spring WSU football scrimmage in Pullman. Nearby us was a woman who was very enthusiastically cheering. We struck up a conversation with her, and it turned out that she was the mother of WSU WR Tyler Baker (#26) from Texas.
So after this I invited Tyler over for our house a few times (had dinner in 2013 and 2014). He was also interested in hunting (in 2013 he was not on the travel squad), so I introduced him to a farmer family that I knew so that he could hunt on their grounds. He did end up hunting two days.
Another example: in early 2015 I was chatting with a professor in my department, loosely talking about sports. I said I was very impressed with the academic support system for WSU’s student-athletes. This professor said that he had recently completely lost any faith in them. I asked him why. He said that a football player from Bellingham a few years ago was told by a coach to “take an easier major if you are serious about football” (his major was Mechanical Engineering).
That really enraged me, so I emailed HS coaches in football from Bellingham to find out the scoop. It turns out that it did happen, and the coach was extremely irritated at WSU (“worst career advice” he’d ever heard). So through this process I got the player’s name: Austin Rapp. I asked the coach where he was not, and he said he was still at WSU.
I contacted Austin, and took him out (at my own expense) to a nice long dinner at Banyan’s to hear his story of what happened. It turned out that he was a walk on, which (IMO; AFAIK) complicated things a bit. But he said that the coach that told him this was (DC Coordinator) Breske, who had been fired for football performance a few months prior.
Still, I know Mike Leach: his son hung out with mine some in their senior years, I’ve chatted with him some, and he is quite interestd in going with me to a long-range rifle shoot some time (I compete in 1000 yard rifle shot competitions, which fascinates him). Anyway, I ran into Mike coming off the midnight flight arrival in Pullman. I told him what Breske had said, and I was extremely pleased to learn of his reflexive reaction: “That was not Breske’s place to say that”.
Our mentoring relationship seemed to click right away. I have a (departmentally famous) collection of random curios in my office. So when she sat down in my office, in the first minute she pointed to the beer mat from Munich (by far my favorite city) on the right and said “I’ve been there!”. I was blown away by this. She said that her father had brought her to Munich when she was 12 or 13. I then told her that their Helles (light; i.e. non-dark) beer is the smoothest I’ve ever tasted. She said “That is what my dad said!”. Wow! (I looked it up later: BeerAdvocate rates Augustiner Helles at (an almost unprecedented) score:95.)
Below are entries from the Bakkens’ guest book. It demonstrates that they have long practiced hospitality to international students.
Note that there was a big gap starting in about 2010. In this year, Beth suffered a stroke. She has recovered so that she can drive, think, talk, knit, etc. But she no longer has the endurance (or multitasking ability) to be a pharmacist. And our youngest child finally left the nest this summer. So that is why there was virtually no activity from ~2010 until earlier last year (2015).
….. skipping 10 pages for the sake of brevity … (um, you get the idea ….) … I note that Beth had a stroke in 2010[16] so there was a gap until our youngest son, Sam, went off to college last fall. So last summer and fall we began to have energy and ability to bless more international students. So when the opportunity to (hopefully) bless PP and some of her other foreign teammates, we were quite happy.
PLEASE NOTE the very nice comments from the WBB players (and rower Mihaela) on the next page! (They are also typed in in Section 4.3).
Please do notice that this is a very healthy, platonic interaction between a mentor and a mentee and a friend of the family! These were all via SMS text, ergo the autocorrect below.
So here is from PP (we were arranging a meeting to discuss classes or something right after an early game):
…
That could potentially work because we get lunch right after the game… so I
won’t be starving but the issue is that my roommates will be leaving right
after June’s talk and treatments (10’ in a cold tub) and I won’t be able to go
home unless I have a ride. So what I am
saying is that do you think that you or Beth could drive me home, please?
And here is my reply:
Yes,
of course we’d give you a ride! I was assuming that we’d give you a ride. Actually,
silly girl, I was assuming that you would push our car with us in it to your
flat!
And here is PP’s reply:
Hahaha,
I need some extra lifting, that would work!
So on this day I had texted PP with the following:
…
but if you need a ride call Berg or me….
And then this a minute later:
Sigh
.. Berg è Beth … am I the only one who misses a goofy autocorrect?
So then PP said:
Haha,
it happens all the time, no worries. Thank you so much for this!! Have a good
night, say hi to Berg J !
[1] I mean this in both the sense of English common law and RCW 9.58.
[2] School of Electrical Engineering and Computer Science, my academic unit. It is in the Voiland College of Engineering and Architecture, whose Dean is Candis Claiborn.
[3] Beth and I have been friends of Gail Gleason for at least 10 years; she is not only the mother of WSU player (and ALS patient) Steve Gleason, but she also works as an academic counsellor in the athletic department.
[4] Take note of this proactive assessment of my mentee; PamB later could not fathom this (see Section 11.6, the email from 12/8/15).
[5] Sadly, she never really followed up to develop these relationships: she seemed to want to go to the gyms as soon as possible, way more than is likely necessary. She seems to be like a sweep puppy that only wants to be with her pack. Anyway, I believe that this was a major factor in her losing confidence: she did not see up close how most other students were struggling, too, and at times doubted themselves.
[6] I am anonymizing the sport and coach of Nastia, because later in this document I am anonymizing an incident involving her for reason of discretion.
[7] Just go on Brayton Road past SYG Nursery 30 minutes before the official sunset in the spring or early summer. Go 10 mph when you hit gravel and look around. You’ll stop counting deer at 25 or 30….
[8] I tell PP that she is the least favorite Greek basketball player that I know. Further, because programming is a lot about boundary cases, I told her that she is the meanest, the stupidest, the ugliest, and (at 5’8”) the tallest Greek basketball player that I know. And that if she ever introduces me to another Greek hoopster I will never forgive her because it is so very cool to be able to say this. I in turn told her that she certainly may describe me as the thinnest, most clean shaven, and most rabid Husky fan of all the Norwegian-American computer science professors that she knows. (Um, I am very obese and have had a beard for a quarter century.) Note: more evidence of a very healthy platonic mentor-mentee interactions.
[9] Sorry, NCAA, if that was an “extra benefit”, but we would have done that for any international student in distress; besides, go jump in a lake if you think helping a despondent international student is an extra benefit… but feel free to report it to the NCAA.
[10] I paid for these tickets out of my family budget, because Beth and I have become fans of the WBB team but were saddened at how few people attended their home games. There were 32 from EECS that attended, which is alas better than nothing.
[11] Note that PamB is contradicting her offer to me of 10/29 to discuss the DCP and Pinelopi.
[12] So now for the second time PamB has directly contradicted her direct offer (10/29) of explaining the DCP to me in person.
[13] Gee, does PamB even care about this???? Methinks not….. but I gave her all the details on the naïve assumption that she did.
[14] Wow, I thought it was Feb. or March 2016, but it ended up being December 2015. L
[15] Earlier I told her that if she ever drank alcohol she must keep control of the container at all times, including opening it (note that this is fatherly/mentoring advice!). She told me that her father had already told her that, and that she “chooses” to not drink.
[16] To be blunt, she is not anything near a vegetable. She smiles a lot, she can do email and other things, and she knits a lot and reads a HUGE amount of historical fiction books. In 2011 she was re-certified to drive. However, she has neither the ability to multitask (crucial for a pharmacist; watch them sometime if you don’t realize this) and the concentration ability for far, far less than an 8-hour shift. Ergo, she no longer works as a pharmacist or a pharmacy manager. But, basically she has much of her life back: she can read (lots!), she can smile, she can enjoy our future grandkids, etc. And she has had very positive interactions with the foreign student-athletes mentioned in this document.